Kirish

Surrounded by Energy Vampires

Thomas Erikson

Psixologiya

Kunlar bir xil o'tib, ichingizda charchoq yig'ilganini sezganmisiz? Thomas Erikson Shvetsiyada bank xodimi bo'lib ishlagan og'ir yillarini eslaydi: zerikarli vazifalar, moliyaviy inqiroz va hamkasblari tufayli so'nib borgan kuchi haqida yozadi. Muallif bu holatning haqiqiy sababini izlashga kirishadi. Odamlar bilan muomala va o'z ishidan qoniqish haqida o'ylayotganlarga mos kitob.

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1-dars namunasi

Recognizing Energy-Draining Days

Bu bo'limda muallif hammamiz boshdan o'tkazgan bir holat haqida gapirvotti. Ba'zi kunla hech narsa o'xshamaydi, ba'zi kunla esa hammasi o'z-o'zidan ketvotti. Ilhom keladi, g'oyala qaynaydi, dunyo seniki bo'p turadi. Lekin o'n daqiqa o'tmay hammasi yo'q bo'p qoladi. Kuch ketadi, rejala imkonsizdek ko'rinadi. Nimaga? Muallif javobi oddiy: sen energiya vampiriga (energy vampire) duch kelding.

Energiya vampiri bu atrofidagi odamlarning kuchini, ishonchini, xohishini so'rib oladigan odam. Uni ruhiy vampir (psychic vampire) yoki hissiy vampir (emotional vampire) ham deyishadi. Muallif misolla keltiradi: har gapingga xato topadigan odam; kasalxonadan kelsang, "man bundan battar kasal bo'lganman" deb gapni o'ziga buradigan tanish; rejasiz ulkan loyiha berib, savol bersang "negativ bo'p qolding" deydigan boshliq; devor ortidan kesatib gapiradigan qo'shni. Muallifning o'zi ham orzu qilgan uyini olganini do'stiga aytsa, u faqat "A, shunaqami?" deb gapni boshqa yoqqa burgan. Bitta gap bilan butun quvonchni so'ndirish mumkin ekan.

Natijada yaxshi g'oyang "keyinroq" degan javonga tashlanadi, ko'pincha umuman qaytmaydi. Ba'zi vampirla buni ataylab qiladi, boshqalarni yerga urib o'zini katta his qiladi. Boshqalari esa chinni do'konidagi fildek, bilmasdan zarar yetkazadi. Ertakdagi vampir nima qilvotganini biladi, hayotdagisi esa har doim ham bilmaydi.

Yana bir muhim fikr: har kim energiyani har xil yo'qotadi. Kimdir kichkina tortishuvdan charchab qoladi, boshqasi aksincha jonlanib ketadi. Kimdir kutishni yomon ko'radi, boshqasiga farqi yo'q. Bir xil vaziyat, lekin reaksiyala har xil.

Asosiy tushunchalar

Energiya vampiri (energy vampire)
Atrofidagi odamlarning kuchini, ishonchini va xohishini so'rib oladigan odam. Masalan, sen yangi ish ochmoqchi bo'lsang, "bo'lmaydi, pulingni kuydirasan" deb darrov ruhingni tushiradigan tanish.
Ruhiy yoki hissiy vampir (psychic / emotional vampire)
Energiya vampirining boshqa nomlari. Uchalasi ham bitta narsani bildiradi: odamdan quvonch va motivatsiyani olib qo'yadigan kishi.
Ijobiy oqim (positive flow)
Hamma narsa o'z-o'zidan ketvotgan, ilhom va kuch to'lib turgan holat. Xuddi imtihonga yaxshi tayyorlanib, hamma savolga javob bilib turgandek.
G'oyala ombori ("Ideas for the Future")
Vampir ruhingni tushirgandan keyin g'oyani "keyinroq qilaman" deb chetga surib qo'yish. Ko'pincha u g'oya umuman qaytmaydi.
Har xil reaksiya
Bir xil vaziyat har kimga har xil ta'sir qiladi. Masalan, bozorda savdolashish kimnidir charchatadi, kimnidir esa jonlantiradi.

Dars oxirida test bor: 80% to'g'ri javob bersang keyingi dars ochiladi, xato qilsang AI qayta tushuntiradi.

Mundarija

Title Page1 dars
  1. Title and Publisher Information
Copyright Notice1 dars
  1. Copyright Notice and Piracy Warning
Introduction: The Time I Almost Gave Up1 dars
  1. The Time I Almost Gave Up
1. How to Spot an Energy Vampire2 dars
  1. Recognizing Energy-Draining Days
  2. Differing Needs for Breaks and Stimulation
2. The Perfectionist, an Annoyingly Common Variety6 dars
  1. Perfectionists and Their Obsession With Rules
  2. Obsessions and Compulsions Explained
  3. Chaos, Values, and Strong Beliefs
  4. Moral Causes and Dedicated Do-Gooders
  5. Team Goals and Process Clarity
  6. Giving Supportive Feedback Effectively
3. Drama Queens Who Demand Red Carpets5 dars
  1. Drama Queens Seek Constant Attention
  2. Learning Social Skills Through Adaptation
  3. Vague Clichés and Imprecise Messages
  4. Disillusionment After Overpromising Partners
  5. Dealing With Dramatic Relatives
4. The Bully, an Unstoppable Tyrant4 dars
  1. Adult Bullies and Intimidation Tactics
  2. Charming Start, Controlling Partner
  3. Abuse Patterns Within Families
  4. Setting Boundaries With Hostile People
5. Passive-Aggressive People: Fists in Pockets5 dars
  1. Avoiding Apology Through Passive Resistance
  2. Responsibility and Taking Control
  3. Forgetfulness as Hidden Hurt
  4. Working Patiently With Greens
  5. Focusing on Behavior, Not Moods
6. The Eternal Victim Who Demands Constant Attention5 dars
  1. Eternal Victims Gain Energy From Pity
  2. Avoiding Responsibility and Staying Victimized
  3. Low Self-Esteem and Seeking Sympathy
  4. Two Perspectives on One Problem
  5. Shifting Focus From Complaints to Solutions
7. Narcissists: The Greatest, the Best, and the Most Beautiful4 dars
  1. Inflated Self-Image and Need for Admiration
  2. Constant Self-Focus in Conversations
  3. Narcissists' Grudges and Revenge
  4. Spotting Broken Promises and Patterns
8. A Few Less Serious but Nonetheless Annoying Types12 dars
  1. Everyday Habits That Become Annoying
  2. Yes-Sayers and Overly Trusting Friends
  3. Know-It-Alls and How to Handle Them
  4. Social Skill Means Predicting Reactions
  5. Stolen Stories and Social Blunders
  6. Building Routines and Systems
  7. How Habits Form and Break
  8. Procrastination Types and Solutions
  9. Accountability Partners and Public Pledges
  10. Time Sinks and Inefficient Work
  11. Sensationalism and Media Bad News Bias
  12. Social Media Versus Real Friendships
9. A Survey of the Four Colors7 dars
  1. Understanding the Four Color Types
  2. Meeting Styles and Communication Mismatch
  3. Blue-Green and Red-Yellow Pairings
  4. Persuading Reds With Clear Benefits
  5. Adapting Messages for Greens
  6. Confronting a Critical Sibling
  7. Yellows: Talkative, Charming, Apologetic
In Closing2 dars
  1. Energy Vampires and Positive Energy
  2. Drawing Lines Against Energy Drainers
References1 dars
  1. Sources and Reference List
Index1 dars
  1. Index of Key Terms
Praise Page1 dars
  1. Praise From Reviewers
Also by Thomas Erikson1 dars
  1. Other Books by Erikson
About the Author1 dars
  1. About Thomas Erikson
Newsletter Sign-up1 dars
  1. Newsletter Sign-Up Information
Copyright1 dars
  1. Medical Disclaimer and Responsibility

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